Tag Archives: emotion

Self improvement is a big topic. I find that it’s better to work on strengths than to focus on weaknesses. Remember the “F” in FARE talks about how what we focus on expands, so we want our focus to be something we WANT in our lives, not what we don’t.
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Emotions drive us. Have you ever wanted that little black dress or that sporty new car and didn’t have the money for it? And you thought and thought and thought about it, and one day it was in your closet or driveway?  They make more of your decisions than logic ever will.
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Today I’m talking about the difference between shame and guilt. These are two emotions that people confuse and it is critical to understand the difference. Shame says, “I am bad.” It’s a focus on the self and it corrodes that part of us that believes we can change. Guilt says, “I’ve done something bad.” It’s more about the behavior, not the person. This is especially important with young children (tomorrow night is a free workshop - Parent’s Are Hypnotists, Too at 6pm), as they are always in a state of hypnosis. Joey’s just been caught in a lie. Mom can say “Joey, lying is not ok,” or she can say, “Joey, you’re a liar.” How does that feel. The first is about his behavior, the second tells Joey that HE is bad. If he’s told this often enough, he starts to believe that he’s a liar. I’m Roberta Fernandez, a Board Certified Hypnotist and Certified Trainer at The FARE Hypnosis Center, helping you take back control by unlocking the power of your mind to reach your goals of any kind.
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Last week we talked about apologizing in a way that shared our gratitude instead of negativity. What about saying “I’m Sorry” when we really aren’t sorry. You know what I mean - someone tells you sad news  or something terrible and you automatically say “I’m sorry”.  “I had to put my dog to sleep.” or “My child is going to have to repeat the 5th grade.” or “I have cancer.”  We shouldn’t be apologizing, but we don’t know what else to say. Sorry can be used to express pity, regret, or sadness, but most often the word doesn’t convey what we’d like. I’ve actually had people say, “There’s no need to be sorry. You didn’t do anything.” Sound familiar?  I’ve been thinking about how to reframe this automatic response and I thought I’d put this out there to you, my listening audience. Obviously various scenarios may require specific responses, choosing another word, perhaps. I’m wondering, what’s another way to express ourselves in reacting to ‘bad’ news other than saying, “I’m sorry”? Email me your thoughts about this and I’ll follow up with another blog.  Don’t forget to join me this Saturday and call in with your questions - online or on the radio - at 10 am for ‘Minding’ Your Health - Take Back Control on AM950 radio. Or check out the podcasts for free on The FARE Hypnosis Center’s online store. I’m Roberta Fernandez, a Board Certified Hypnotist and Certified Trainer at The FARE Hypnosis Center, helping you take back control by unlocking the power of your mind to reach your goals of any kind.
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Last week we talked about the negativity bias. A past client of mine sent me something interesting that I want to share with you and I think it’s a perfect extension of last week’s blog. “I’m sorry.” We use these words in many ways (i’ll talk about another next week), but today we’ll focus on apologizing.
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I attended an amazing talk this week by Vikas Narula, founder of Keyhubs. Vikas has created a software program that provides insights on influence of people and projects from informal networks within organizations. He talked about how typical hierarchies in organizations and groups cause division, but informal networks can serve to bridge those divides.
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For most people, it’s that time of the year to talk about gratitude. In reality, acknowledging and expressing gratitude is something that we should do on a daily basis.
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We’re finishing up our discussion about weight loss, although for many the topic is far from being finished. As we have seen weight can be very complex as may factors are involved.
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We continue our series about weight loss this week, talking about triggers and habits. Habits are about 30% of most people’s issues around weight loss. They just have some pretty bad habits.
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